That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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