Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think pants incapable of making pants work