Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies