4 words: hood of his car
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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