roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
