dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
