i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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