Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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