After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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