is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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