There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize