I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
