I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
