the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
