I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
