I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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