So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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