So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
