okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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