i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
