I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
