I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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