they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
