The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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