i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
