Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Drake has all the answers
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize