how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
