Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Come share oat with me in your robe
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
