does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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