Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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