Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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