Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
