im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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