I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
