i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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