I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
