well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
