Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
