ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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