I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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