Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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