I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
