I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
