You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
