im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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