I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
