watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
