guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
