He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
