I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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