yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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