"it" just moved
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
