It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
