just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
