Soap is not a condiment
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
