Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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