At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
