Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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