I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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